I KNEW giraffes existed!!! Take that Jack Hanna!!??

Lately things that I can’t understand or explain have been happening. A few weeks ago a friend of mine went through something that I couldn’t even imagine going through. His life literally changed in an instant and it really made me stop and think about my own. I have been thinking about life, what I am doing, why I am doing it and where I am going in the future. It made me get off my ass and make things happen. I got in touch with people I hadn’t talked to in a while. I also started thinking about what was missing in my life. I am now on a mission to solve any problems I had/have and in the end try and be better.

All my life I have relied on people to motivate me, love me and help me. I have since realized that I have to rely on myself, motivate myself and love myself. (cliché and cheesy yes, yes I know) It may have taken me 27 year and countless broken hearts and tears to figure this out but I think I finally have. I find myself making a lot more “me time”, making plans for things that I really want to do, and keeping busy by myself. I used to be worried about weekends and found them to be lonely when I wasn’t with someone. All of a sudden this is no longer the case. I like my weekends. I like having the choice to go out, or stay in work out and eat a grape fruit. (Which was my decision tonight haha) My second trip to Korea has just begun and it is going to be so different from the last. I have different goals and I am older and in a different place.

A lot has happened so far but as my dear friend spicy said in one of the countless conversations we’ve had about my life. “If so much can happen in the first two months, think about how much more can happen in the months to come.” This is so true, and when he said it he probably didn’t realize it affected me so much. (Thanks my friend!!)

I am constantly trying to figure out why things happen, where the justice is in life, why people get hurt and why we are put in situations we don’t understand and sometimes can’t control. I am sure these questions will never get answered and they will bother me forever. Although, because of these questions, and the recent happenings in my life, I am motivated to make changes to myself and my lifestyle.

Which brings me to my 8-week plan:

I am saying this out loud so that just like "a giraffe" it will "exist". Now I CANT take it back or jump ship! I bought myself some work out equipment, healthy food and am determined to feel GREAT by July 1st!!!

My 8-week plan consists of working out every day with some work out videos I found online. Not eating out all the time, and cutting down totally on food that I don’t need. The snacks they give us at school are killing me. Especially when the rich Korean moms send us cake ALL THE TIME!! No more cake for me, summer is coming! I am so serious about this that I didn’t go out drinking tonight, instead I worked out and ate a grapefruit. Wow that sounds a lot sadder now that I wrote that down… What the hell is happening to me lately! The Meghan you knew and loved is apparently gone haha. Well not totally. If I give up junk food I can still get drunk during the week right? Hello? is this thing on??? Anyways I thought I would write this down so that everyone knows, and I can’t make up excuses!
I also want to write down my goals… these are just a start..

Goal number 1: no junk food for 2 weeks. (Then I can indulge on May 21st if I wish)
Goal number 2: don’t eat out next week, go home to eat a healthy meal.

Okay sorry for no blogs lately.. Stay tuned for my expose on KOREAN MOMS!!!!